Before and After RA
One common thing I hear from others or read about on other RA blogs is the theme of the "before RA person" and the " after RA person". It makes me think. I was diagnosed before I was 2. I know nothing different. I was never able to do things growing up that all the other kids could do. I could never ice skate...play sports (I would try though) or even participate in some games (red rover). I wish I was able to do those things at least once...or at least without pain. I also wish kids were not so mean about things they don't understand. That was the hardest part for me about growing up with RA...being told I was faking it so I didn't have to participate in Gym class etc. They didn't understand that I really wanted to...but was unable. But when I read about others "before RA person" I think...they were able to do things...they were able to experience things growing up...but then it was all taken away...so they know what they are missing. I see what I am missing...but they have experienced what they are now missing. There are things I wish I could do and would love to try...like running...I would love to run a 5k or 10k...but lets be honest...it won't happen. I have walked a 3k (for arthritis)...but that ended with a lot of pain. I would love to do a cartwheel! I have never been able to do a cartwheel because of my wrists...and it looks like a lot of fun and I would love to show my kids. It will never happen. It looks fun...but I really don't know what I am missing. Is that a good thing? Is it better that I don't know what I am missing. Either way RA completely sucks. Whether you have had things taken away from you...or you never experienced them in the first place...it sucks. I think I just want to complain today...lol :) Well, now I am off to try to play with my boys without getting injured...lol...they are stronger than I am!
-L
-L
Lindsay,
ReplyDeleteMy fight with RA began in 2008. For 2 years I was told by more than one specialist, " we do not know what you have. We know you are sick, it is physically obvious." So, my illness for the longest time was listed as a " systemic illness of unknown origin ". Cancer was ruled out in March 2009. I was relieved, however, the relief was bittersweet.
May 2010, I was taken off of prednisone. Within 6 weeks my symptoms returned again. The same symptoms I had in 2008. Only no weight loss. I had lost 40 pounds in less than 2 months by Christmas of that year.
July 2010 I returned to my rheumatologist. I was placed on prednisone once again by my pulmanologist. He had been treating me since April 2009 for a condition called BOOP (bronchiolitis obliterans organizing pneumonitis). An interstitial pneumonitis resulting in inflammation of the lungs. I returned to my rheumatologist for further testing and received my diagnosis of RA and psoriosis on August 10.
After reading your latest post, I felt I had taken ALOT of things for granted. Those things you speak of which you were unable to do or had always had difficulty doing, I did as a child everyday. I applaude you for always fighting. I have difficulty now with certain things; running, climbing, certain household chores. I have days inwhich the pain from RA flares makes it difficult to play with my children. It hurts to attempt a jumpshot or layup when playing basketball with my son. I have been a drummer since my childhood. I began playing when I was 7 years old. My focus is on fighting this illness and returning to the stage and being able to enjoy my family.
Your post has given me much motivation. Thank you and God bless.
Thank you:) You keep fighting!!! Take care of yourself and try to enjoy everyday!
ReplyDeleteLindsay, we are in the same boat. Being diagnosed at 2, in 1972, I was excluded from most physical activities growing up as well. I could never run, play in gym, participate in sports, or even walk too far. I used to dream of being able to fly and feel free from all the pain, or of running on the playground with the other kids. I remember it being a very difficult time, both physically and emotionally.
ReplyDeleteYours is a question I too have thought a lot about. I used to think it was probably better not to know what those things felt like, because of the devestation one must feel once they are gone. However, as I get older, and the RA has turned to OA, I think getting this shitty disease later in life would be a little easier. To have a healthy childhood is a blessing, but usually it's assumed.
The only people who don't take their health for granted are the sick ones.
It makes me angry when an older person will say to me, "oh, to be young again..." with this longing look on their face because they have no idea all I've gone through and suffered. I want to yell at them and say, "O yeah, at least you had 60, 70, or 80 good years... I didn't!!". But of course I can't. I just smile and walk away...
Jen...good point!
ReplyDelete